I have had this list for a long time that in a nutshell started with, when I, fill in a blank and ended with, then I will, fill in another blank.

It covered every area of my life. Career, money, love, health. Everything felt incomplete and way out of my reach.

I had no clue how to obtain a thinner body, a better job, a bigger book deal, a good man and it all seemed very necessary in order to be happy. The magnitude of it made me give up a lot of the time and run around in circles with all sorts of plans that I started and stopped. My life was frustrating and choppy and never quite got me anywhere.

Then, everything changed. Somewhere along the path I got so worn out I stopped and decided to challenge God. It was the only language I knew – contests were my thing. I know a lot of great preachers say, thank God for the great good that is already being created for you, but I had way too much anger and fear to thank anyone for anything.

However, I could throw down a challenge and maybe, this time, I could stand back and take my hands off the wheel. I was just desperate enough, thank goodness.

Okay, here I am about six years later and I never stopped letting God in, in fits and starts and my list is gone. I weight 70 pounds less, I have a better job, my latest book is on a really good path and that man thing, I’m giving Match.com a whirl.

The point is, I’m no longer looking to the future for a start date on my life and that presents an interesting idea.

I’ve never been in this spot before. The whole maintenance of life where we basically have the baseline for what we want and are going along with what comes next, doing our part and enjoying how things are in this now moment. I can’t really say much more than that just yet, it’s all so new. But I can tell you I’m happy to be here and I’m excited to find out what it’s all like. No more waiting to find out if it’s possible. More adventures to follow.

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