There was a time when I really wanted to not be in pictures. Please, leave me alone. However, that hasn’t really served me all that well. In its place was this desire to be perfect, or should I say obsession that led to binging and dieting, sometimes to the point of fasting. I became great at gaining and losing weight but was clueless how to be comfortable in my own body.
This summer, I’ve been eating right and working out with a triathlon team and I’ve been surprised at what a good time I’ve been having without worrying about how I look. It’s just been fun with no attachments about how I look or where this is all leading. I’m not signed up for any races, that was never my intention and as they’ve moved into race mode for the last part I’ve been substituting my own runs or swims or bike rides.
It’s weird to be so reasonable about the whole thing but I’m excited to see where it’s all going. One of the unexpected blessings has been that I’m simultaneously learning how to be reasonable with myself while still going for the bigger dreams, like getting the next thriller published. I think they call that balance.
Is it possible that I might actually learn how to maintain an ideal body weight while having a good time working out? Stay tuned, I’ll let you know.